ShelLan.Fish0o<++<<

。。。无聊。。。

2009-02-11T19:06:00.003+08:00

.....................i can not see anything now.........................
my future is gloom.....................

.............yesterday.after my NVST final test..............the result......... =.=
hais... i think the result is from my first year till now.... the lowest one............................
=. = =.= =.= how like that.............. my teacher also can not believe it when he saw my score...
unexpected and disappointed......

i totally no mood to study now....although i came to school so early today. 10 am already in school, try to study, but ......... totally sian diao.......
no mood no mood no mood..........now only wanna sit at sofa then do nothing.......... fa dai.......

放空自己。。。。。放空自己。。。。。放空自己。。。。。。

盛夏光年

2009-02-08T23:53:00.006+08:00

I thought i forgot my password already, haha.. still remember and managed to log in.

YEAH , Finally! I come to blog.!!! should celebrate it !! hoho...

Yesterday, is my 21st years old birthday day.. Actually is the lunar birthday.
My Birthday is too difficult to celebrate, 29th Feb. Until now i still don't know should count the year by Lunar or standard calendar.
29th feb, really special and unique. i only can say, my mother so cool, choose on that day to give birth. Maybe she also dont know what is the date when she gave birth to me.

21 years old. that means i can watch R21 movie, can go pub&club... that means i already set foot in adult's world. that means i already became old....
I dont want .... i dont want to become adult, just dont want...

today, i found a song from Mayday, 《盛夏光年》
i was so touched by this song...really... both melody and lyrics.

我驕傲的破壞，我痛恨的平凡
才想起那些是我最愛
讓盛夏去貪玩，把殘酷的未來狂放到光年外
而現在
放棄規則放縱去愛放肆自己放空未來
我不轉彎我不轉彎我不轉彎我不轉彎
讓定律更簡單讓秩序更混亂
這樣的青春我才喜歡

我要我瘋我要我愛
就是我要我瘋我要我愛現在
一萬首的mp3 一萬次瘋狂的愛
滅不了一個渺小的孤單
盛夏的一場狂歡來到光年之外
長大難道是人必經的潰爛？
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

長大難道是人必經的潰爛？
大人的世界永遠都是骯髒多與純粹，
純真在大人的世界已不復存在。
孩子般的天真已被大人們骯髒的思想玷汙

如果那時候夏娃和亞當不被毒蛇誘惑而偷食禁果，

那麼我們永遠都是個乾淨的孩子。

我不願長大，不想長大，
被迫的接受那個滿是毒蛇誘惑的世界。
怎麼樣的青春才不留白，才不會有後悔存在?
用力的活出自己？
盡情的呼吸年輕的氣息？
還是不顧後果的揮霍青春，做自己想做的卻被認為幼稚的事？

我驕傲的破壞，我痛恨的平凡
才想起那些才是我的最愛。
放棄規則放縱去愛放肆自己放空未來
你做的到嗎？我做得到嗎？
不願青春留白的衝動和勇敢你有嗎？我有嗎?

我不轉彎我不轉彎走自己認為是對的路即使頭破血流也義無反顧不回頭
你有嗎？我有嗎？

我們。。都沒有。。勇氣和勇敢少得可憐

也許就是因為我什麼都沒有。
我才會愛上五月天，愛上他們的義無反顧，愛上他們的勇敢

脆弱過後是重新審視自己的堅強

>crying while laughing,weakened but determined to be stronger.

...

2008-09-07T02:10:00.004+08:00

FINALLY.....all finished...
Exam. Xinyao performance. LTC ( leader trainning camp) and bla bla..." you de mei de"
i have been a long long long long time didnt update blog... you know me .. i always like that...
damn lazy fish .. XD..
ok, one by one. .

Exam........................
wah..it was really making me become crazy..KISIAO during exam period..
everyday went to FC4 chionging . and almost everyday overnight, like tmr got paper,then tonight sure choinging till the time to go to sch.. haiz.. but i'm very disappointed to myself..
i kept asking myself, activity and result..which is the most important to me. i know i'm surely
choocing result. coz get the good GPA, get the honour roll, go to oversea U and make much money are my aims. there are a lot of burdens,responsibility,expectation on my shoulders.
so i can only choose ,hard work ,very very hard work..super hard work to maintain them.
i'm afraid of the outcoming of this sem result...
i very sure..this sem i can not get the high GPA. at least is not above 3.8........
and my honour roll is gone......
T.T

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to be continue...now go to slp le. . lazy to blog...

..

2008-08-14T00:50:00.002+08:00

" I'm totally SICK now ..............."
---this is the only sentence i can say..

"pls...GOD ..PLS BLESS ME...! "
--- this is the last sentence i wanna say...

By-super duper sick fish...

.....

2008-07-07T23:59:00.003+08:00

=.=
really busy ...from Mst week till now..
assignments, lab test,PBL, CCA, singing competition. . a lot of things clash in my mind...
and really , my MST results..SHIT!!!!=.= ..Sian...
I really disappointed by myself..TOTALLY..
i'm very sorry to my friends..yulis and xinhui . .as i didnt do well in the group assignmemts.
and thx a lot to my friends, they all forgived me .

i'm so tired...body and heart..totally..but how can i do ?
throw away it and focus on study?
I can only force myself....force, force and force..

我不知道，我能撑到什么时候。。。
我的依靠，不再是我一个人的“依靠”。。。
我只是，很奢侈的，想要点温暖。
冰冷的手。。冰冷的皮肤。。冷冻鱼，对吧？
purple pig fish ..
have another nickname..: Cold fish..in the Cold sea...

lyrics

2008-06-19T05:41:00.003+08:00

想回忆你我的过往，

却发现，我们不曾有相同的方向。

想记住你宽阔肩膀，

却明白，那温暖已消失在远方。

想念肆无忌惮蔓延，变成海洋，漂浮悲伤。

我知道，我从来不曾，住进你心上。。。

....

2008-06-17T03:00:00.000+08:00

just for fun...

双鱼的女孩不是傻，而是因为心里明白太聪明太锋芒毕露只会招来嫉妒，于是就用装傻，傻得没心没肺，来当作心灵的保护罩。因为坚信“真相都是残酷的，与其太过明白一切，不如傻傻的来得幸福。”所以双鱼的女孩会巧妙的掩饰自己的智慧。但她们傻笑的同时，却将你的一举一动尽收眼底，连你心里想什么她都知道，她不说只是代表没必要揭你老底，她也不想惹麻烦。这是一种大智若愚。　　她对你说出一大堆天真的幻想，只是为了让你对她没戒心；她迷迷糊糊,不代表真的不黯世事，而是寻求保护，适当的显露出柔弱才能激起你的保护欲亚~~~ 　　双鱼座并不真的相信占卜，只是在寻求不到解答时，要找各种途径去研究策略，她们需要占卜，但并不代表绝对依赖占卜。那只是给自己提示的途径罢了。　　双鱼女对追求她的人，以及身边出现的异性都保持一种暧昧态度，那只是因为她尚未真正找到值得自己爱的人，但一旦找到真心所爱的人，就没有人能让她移情别恋了——除非出现条件更好、更爱她的人，不排除她会重新考虑，但也不一定就会变心。如果她还没有爱上谁，那么所有的异性——只要符合她的标准——都有机会，但若是她已经有了非常在乎非常认定的人，那么其他人的追求对她来说都是麻烦，她虽然会保持耐心去应付，但绝对不会给对方机会，甚至把她逼急了还会干脆拒绝掉。　　别以为双鱼女柔若，其实她很有自己的原则，并且是那种平时可以玩世不恭可以没心没肺可以傻气幼稚，但关键时刻却会是最冷静最核心的人物。当有人为她撑腰时，她会是最较弱最需要保护的那个，但没有人撑腰时，她就是做出决断下达指令的人。　　她很会察言观色，虽然有时她并不会利用这一点去处事，但一切都要看形势需要。　　可以说她的傻气是装出来的，可爱却不一定是装出来的；柔弱是装出来的，易被感动却不是装出来的；耐心是她很努力去维持的，但并不代表她就容许别人放肆。　　她可以最不记仇，但把她逼到忍无可忍不能再忍的时候，你就等着死吧。最好的情况是她警告一次就不会有什么举动，最糟糕的情况就是——暗暗的发动你周遭一切可以发动的人对你进行最猛烈的攻击，让你瞬间失去一切，还会主动来向她道歉~~并且事后都不会知道你究竟怎么死的。　　所以没事别去惹双鱼座，不然老天爷都不会放过你，何况她。　　双鱼座的双重性格非常极端，可以最火热，也可以最冰冷，但平常会呈现出很中间很和蔼的性格，可以迷惑你，虽然她们基本上不太会留意到自己的影响力。　　很多解析都说双鱼多么浪漫多么不切实际。我要说的是，浪漫是真，不切实际却不一定。　　只要条件需要她脚踏实地，她就会比任何人都现实，并且还会突然开始制定计划并且一步步照做。这种转变是惊人的，原因是她已经找到了认定的目标。虽然计划总是在不断修改，但她下定决心的事她就会疯狂的做，并且很用心。但有的时候他们并不需要花费很多力气就可以做得比别人好，但为了向别人表现自己真的很努力，还要装出点用功认真的样子。而真正努力的时候，她们却会调皮的装出吊儿郎当的样子。　　他们很会演戏，只是很多时候她们并不是刻意的在演。演只是一种本能。而作用和效果也随情况转变。　　但有时候她们是故意那样做的，并且你往往看不出来，还会以为她们是真的傻傻的，真的乐天派，或是真的很脆弱很易被伤害，或是真的那么胆小。　　她们常常让你产生错觉，觉得自己最了解她们，自己很容易可以控制她们，其实不然，想出一段时间，你就会发现真是大错特错。她有太多的面，她的性格时刻在变，并且是随着时间地点人物心情来变，甚至传的一套衣服染的一种发色都能瞬间改变她们的性格，你永远也看不透看不完。她的想法如此天马行空，她可以很听话很唯命是从，也可以猛然的很个性很坚持己见很独立，你永远也不能真正抓住她的心，永远也不能真正占有她。　　她不断的摄取知识并且不停的思考，她留意哪怕一点点小细节。她不在意你的缺点，并且欣赏你的优点。她不一定会说出全部的想法，但当她正经起来，她会说出令你吃惊的准确的话，不过，若她假装正经的时候除外。　　她从不真正单纯，觉得她太浅太透明的男人们，那是因为你太没洞察力也太没耐心、太肤浅，你没有足够的智慧和眼力去读懂真实的她，所以你也无法掌握她的心。　　而那些以自我为中心、不肯照顾女人的男人，更加没可能得到双鱼女长久的爱，她就算一开始爱得你死去活来，那也只是她给自己编织的一场梦，她很快就会醒来，会清醒地从现实的细节里看穿你，无论你如何掩饰，她很有可能会离开你，别以为她天性喜爱依赖，让你做主只是因为她怕麻烦，其实她很独立，只要需要，她丝毫不会留恋不值得她爱的人。　　所以爱她就要让自己不肤浅，要学会欣赏她，要去解读她，也要学会体贴她——她会留意细节，虽然她不一定会抱怨男友的粗心和不解风情，但别以为你的疏忽不被察觉，那是不可能的。时间久了，次数多了，她也会在沉默中爆发，那时，可别怪她冷酷决绝，只因为你太不懂情趣。　　当然，只会说甜言蜜语却没行动和付出的男人，她也会离开的。　　想要得到她，就展开追求攻势吧。她不欣赏婆婆妈妈没胆量的男人。　　但是她也不会喜欢被她明确拒绝了多次却死缠烂打得男人。　　她的要求不会很高，只要你长得还对得起观众，并且干净舒服，有点品位，又有上进心和行动力，有耐心又体贴，不花心，并且很主动又照顾周到，不怕为了浪漫砸时间砸金子（即使你没钱，也至少要体贴），她就会很快对你动情。　　只要你讲理，她就不会无理取闹。但宠她宠过头了，那就有各种可能性了。　　玫瑰鲜花巧克力纪念日绝对不能忘，还要给她生日的惊喜，最好你献殷勤不用她提醒你，你在她面前会很成熟可靠，又能适当的撒撒娇，又能在同事朋友面前独当一面，她就会崇拜你，甚至还会用她的方式宠你。　　双鱼人为什么要睡懒觉呢？总结出如下三点：大家看对不对1。真的很困很累，通常会一觉睡到将近中午，没办法呀。2。觉得睡着了就可以暂时逃避世俗的某些纷扰。3。虽然躺在床上，其实很早就醒了，只不过在思考问题，思考了好几个小时。不起来只是因为这样想问题更安静更投入。　　双鱼MM真地爱上一个人就会把与对方发的短信和聊天纪录看上好多好多遍，就是那样不厌其烦的看，看到都可以背出来，然后傻笑或是生闷气或是怀疑或是忧愁。我还会把短信抄到本本上，每天有事没事拿出来看，就算只是盯着一句话，也能把谈话的整个内容都在脑海重重演好多次，然后独自思考对方说这话的语气心情以及正在做什么。而那些聊天纪录，也会看到背下来，然后平时罚代的时候大多都是在回想聊天内容了。其实还有一点,就是双鱼GGMM的眼睛周围都会有一颗褐色的泪痣.

fish is crying.

2008-06-12T18:10:00.002+08:00

鱼在水里哭

我握着你的手说

鱼在水里哭

你笑着说别傻了

鱼并不会哭

它们是一种没有眼泪的动物

树在雨里哭

我抬头看着你说

树在雨里哭

你温柔看着我说

树并不会哭

它们是没有思想情感的植物

我突然的无助

没有眼泪的悲伤

没有人清楚

只能呼吸着不被了解的孤独

一个人仅仅记得一切会结束

我矛盾着无助

很需要你能给我一点点保护

想对你说的话却总说不出

我变成了植物

没有人在哭

你摸着我的头说

没有人在哭

我在哭

只是没有人在乎

好了。。

2008-06-09T23:54:00.003+08:00

This days really became very weird...Me..Myself...
hehe..but it seems all gone now.. "I"came back already...
Thx Jo,Pei2 and Bc..
that night chat really gave me power and call the " Me" back..

These days , i keep asking myself: Do I like him? I became dam weird is becoz of him?
for the second Qn the anwser is :Yes..
but the First Qn, hehe... I spent a such long time to find the answer: No.

越来越搞不清楚，依赖跟喜欢的感觉了。
也许是我太久没爱上比别人了，
竟然会区分不出眼前的感情...
我承认,自己有时候真的很爱逞强,时刻想要证明,即使是只有我一个人,也可以不用靠别人.
逞强得让所有人都认为, 我,就是这么一个人,不需要依靠别人,也可以把事情做得很好.
记得,朋友跟我说过,我这么的强势, 会吓跑很多追你的人.
呵呵..不是我愿意这样做.
只是,当只有我一个人的时候,我能依靠谁?

现在心里很清楚的知道，如果那天晚上，换做是别人，而不是他的话，我还是会对别人产生依赖。不是根据是不是"他”，而是根据“那种可以不用自己一个人承担了”的感觉。
谢谢你，在那天晚上，给我依靠的肩膀。让我觉得，终于有个人可以借下肩膀靠了。
自己这几天的奇怪行为，也只是因为觉得，不想把那个可以依靠的肩膀让给别人，所以才会产生那种小孩子的抢夺心理。哈哈。。可是别人却认为我在吃醋。。
不过，现在的我，非常的肯定。依赖跟喜欢，是完全不同的。
依赖是对朋友。而喜欢却是需要更多勇气的。

时常忘记，双鱼座，是十二星座里最需要依靠的，最受不了孤独的侵蚀的，最需要那种被保护的感觉的。也许，我是双鱼座里的怪ka，找不到可以依靠的，就干脆把自己武装。
这就是我，你说的，拒绝被爱，却渴望被爱。矛盾的个体。
可是，我已经“矛盾”了这么久了，也渐渐习惯了，要我怎么一时改得过来？

反正，现在的自己，很好。这样，就好了。。。

oops..

2008-06-08T00:55:00.005+08:00

yoz....
Holiday has gone about one week...but i'm very sorry to myself..
coz this week . i totally didnt study for my MST...

Monday had Maku-up lesson..so i went to sch but at last i pon the lesson.
Very sorry to my lecturer and classmates...coz i went to A CCA talk organised by SAA.
that Talk really gave me some stress.. i dont know why..the Director of SAA told to us a lot
of rules about the CCA..Maybe i think i'm the VP of my lovely CMCC club, and i really dont want
it become bad in my hand ..Since my club now not really have good impression in SAA.
SORRY to my dear committees...i'm sorry for giving the attitude to all of you on that day in the chat room..i really became so seriouse of it .sorry about it ..
after the talk i went to meet my friends and did my NINFRA assignmemt...

Tuesday still have Make-up lesson. From 10am to 5pm. 10am-12pm was the lecture,1pm-4pm was the practical. but that lecturer delay the time..so it was 10am-1230pm lecture.1pm-5pm practical...That lecturer really Ki siao ... i think....she really can talk untill 6hrs++.OMG..
you know .. the lecture and practical is the SAME teacher!haiz. i think she is in "更年期"..so she have a lot wanna talk and become fussy..Oops...can not say like that. . i'm so bad,=P
After lesson, i went to city hall to meet them:xiu2.clara.huiyan.jojo.jj.chrislyn.bc.Peilin and sky.
wa..Such a big group..haha...they already shoped the whole afternoon, but they seemed like dont know how to write"tired"de, when i went to meet them. we decided to go to Bugis, SHOP AGAIN..lol..we already had a good time in bugis...
Finally. i bought one pink colour shirt, one pair of slipper(purple colour hor!XD when i back home then i found it was PURPLE!wa .really good sia.),then Clara gave me the purple colour earing for present!..THX clara!!! love you , my dear bear..XD

Wednesday also had make up..sian ..why i 3days all had lessons..
reached sch at 12 like that ba. . can not rmb it ... sorry to my friends,xin hui and yulis.
i late for the assignment discussion. but they forgave me .. coz they know i always late de ..hehe..really thx for them.. i had lunch with them, then went to lesson. 1pm-4pm..really very tired inside that lesson, coz a lot of theorem clashed in my mind..X(
after lesson . i went to the clubhouse..i dressed up with my new shirt and new slipper on that day .haha.. coz we made the promise of those who bought new clothed de..wear them together on wednesday. 6pm-9pm was the K@Moberly activity...and we also had the Audition about the Performance organised by junfeng..

Thursday..went to sch to do the Assignment.. but at last..i didnt give any help to my group..
coz in the end, i busy with my CCa stuff..Really really Sorry to my friends!!! TT

Friday.
yeah..is yesterday..
we went to SENTOSA!!
LOL... CCA OUTING..
i really very HIGH yesterday!>> someone said me emo?!? mo ko ling, wahaha..
we went to siloso beach! It is really a nice place..but i think all the beaches can make me HIGH
coz I am a fish ma ...lol..the SEA is my home..!
and we played Volleyball and captain ball...wa.long time not exercise le, i guess i'm old now ?!lol
last night we also tonning at outside. youshen,cherry,peipei,cyn,xiu,bc,renjie,huilun,donald and me went to watch the movie->Kongfu Panda<! OMG, that movie really very NICE and Interesting! the Panda really so cute!!XD haha...It is really worth we spent $10 to watch it.
Reached home about 8am today morning. Dam tired..and i went to slp directly..
8am-5pm..haha..10hrs slping today. slp like a pig...but i like that feeling !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when i come to the beach, in front of sea.
i always have the impulsion to walk into sea.
totally.. my body. .all inside water..

and
This week is end....

hey girl.

2008-06-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

Hey girl,
what is the matter?
you are crying your heart out again.
dont lie, girl
this was not some accident,
your bruises, they give you away
your face sighs in shades of blue purple
your eyes tell a story of pain.

walk away,
baby walk away.
spare yourself this pain
you are not meant to be treated this way

you say that
you really love him
you say that he'll know this someday
but your face still sighs in blue purple
your eyes tell a story of pain.....

...

2008-05-31T11:45:00.002+08:00

MST REVISION START!!!!!!!

but..hmmm...i still lying on the bed now..=P
so lazy de fish....but bo bian ma .... these days i really lacked of slp.
really look like a panda le ,,, my gene has changed, from fish change to panda.
but is there a animal called Panda Fish in this world??
I think i will be the FIRST one !! lol ... Unique,Special! XD

nothing to say now ....

to be continue~~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you see.
I gave up waiting for you to care .
you are not here .
and I wonder if you ever were.

...

2008-05-30T05:49:00.003+08:00

now...5:51 am!
FINALLY!!! I finish my 1500 portfolio!!! CHEERS!~~ Yeah~~
Finally ...finally... wahL/..1500 words portfolio really make me wanna die...
using the whole night and immolate my sleep time to rush it ..
cher, you a really KIND to me...i think you really like panda rite..so wanna see me become panda.. but, unfortunately, I Am A FISH!~~ A PURPLE FISH, although with panda eyeline la ..lol..

Today( ya ,should be today le ) is the last day of this week. that means next week is already my holiday week.. but but but ... the "holiday week" is no that "holiday week" . it gotta kill me !!
coz next week whole week make-up lesson and assignments, what the worse is , after 3 weeks is MST!! OMG, i wanna die again.. Really dam scary !!
MST means Make Shulan go To die! =.= sian....
i think i should have a "魔鬼式训练" to prepare the MST, else i will really die..
haiz..but hor fish's memory only last 7s ley...how to rmb a lot of things?=P

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This week dam sian....3 lab tests and one 1500 report really made me become crazy.
everyday slp no more then 3 hrs de, i only can see the black circle around my eyes become darker and darker..see . like today . i didnt slp ..really become god le me ...
haiz....although immolated the slp time to study , but i can nor make sure that my labtest will get full marks...very sad now ...haiz... and the saddest thing is my CSW interview only got C.
C again...my english really sucks!!! from year 1 to now, my LC module always get C. sian...
wanna improve it but still dont know how to do ...
this week will end soon...hope my MST is all the best!...Make a wish...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a big liar, and made a big lie.
lie to you , and also lie to myself.
really sorry i didnt give you any promises.
I afraid that the promises is also a big lie.
even though you already told me the truth.
I prefer stay inside my own world and protact myself from outside.
i try to smile my tears away
i try to keep my cool
i try to keep away from my fragility
i try to give everyone a smile and warm hug
but,
Fish is under the sea,
it is very cold and freezing.
when someone try to close to it,
they will get the frostbite.
Fish dont want to hurt others,
so it keep a distance to them,
a safety distance so that everyone can keep happy.
A satety distance also between us.....

something about us doesn't seem right to these days.
and continue happenning.......

sian..

2008-05-25T02:11:00.003+08:00

when i open my blog. i can hear the piano song =>Secret<,really very nice one !! i really wanna play it like the demo .smooth and fluent. i practise it everyday..when i wake up at the morning , if morning dont have lessons. the first thing for me is playing this song. Can i dream that: if one day i really play it fluent, then can I call back the past?

Don't know what can i write down now..
my brain now very stunned and can not work anymore.
No slpy but very " you jing shen" . just be in the daze...-->"发呆”
" fa dai " is a happy moment for me . Coz i no need to think too much and also can relax.
but the bad thing is waste time and i also dont know what am i doing in the " fa dai time".
Maybe is like another one of me in the " fa dai time " ba .. i dont know ...

today .. very sian one ... spent $20 into one stupid thing..dont want to mention about it le .
i really very stupid one ...

"today" is not the " today", is another day call "today"'s "tomorrow".
what am i talking about?--- i dont know ...

"tomorro" is not the "tmr", is another day call " today's" tomorrow's" tomorrow",
what am i talking about again?- i still dont know....

====================================================================

i' m the small fish .
small small one fish.
i'm alone in the sea.
but someone do not notice me .
becoz i'm so small.
so that they didnt notice me and pass me by directly.
just becoz i'm the small fish.
i always swimming in the sea.
alone .alone. alone.
they all didnt notice me
and just pass me by....

>>++>o0.
small fish + purple= small purple fish
ie. no one notice..

sorry about it ...

2008-05-23T23:47:00.003+08:00

WAh~~~~~ i had a long long ++ time didnt update my blog le ....
i almost forgot my link add and password...=P .. i'm so bad ,right...
LOL...coz i'm a lazy girl and lazy to type a lot of words...
Oops.."Bei ni fa xian le" wahaha.... Sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy la ....sorry to my friends who always come to my blog to see whether i update it or not...but since like ..i always give you disappointment....Really feel sorry about it .... I swear: if i have time , i'll update my blog more often,k ...=D i know you'll forgive me de ,right? =))

Ok, since i have a long time never update my blog le ... i have a lots wanna type,but now still dont know what to type..May be so much things clash in my mind and brain, i also dont know how to begin them..So i decide, just leave them pass and type some currents..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16th-18th May.

i will not forget it forever. My first Camp organised by myself...!!
SPCMCC Freshman Orientation Camp.=D
During about one month Plan and Prepare. It became very successful and out of my imagine!!
Thanks to my dear committee team and leader team and Alumis...Without all of you supporting me during the camp . i think i could not continue it and let it become successful!..

THANK You VERY Much!!!!! I Love All of U!!!!
---said By Fish>>++>o0

haha....During this camp. i aslo leart a lot of things.
Not only the leadership but also the relationship with other clubs..
What I know is . Even thought the Club's Presidents or who are your friends,
you can not trust them totally.Becoz At the camp, If related to their club's benefits,
they wont be ur friends anymore,they are just the presidents of their clubs and also wanna
transact with you. Disturb ur capm programme first then said sorry to you at last.
I dont know whether they said sorry is truth or what.
but Now i already know it: if that thing you can do it by yourself, dont anyhow ask others to help.
you will not know how true is the person and how true of his/her heart. Only yourself can give you the True heart! Trust yourself first then consider others.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23th May. Today . it is the last day of this week..

At first, supporse to have the camp debrief in the afternoon..
but when i reached clubhouse by 4pm after my lab practical. I found that. few of them came to debrief and only left a few of them waiting in the clubhouse .
i'm very sorry to those who waited the meeting and lastly i canceled the meeting.
Becoz i think, few of them came for meeting also useless..As this debrief is importent to me .
I know that they all had their dating and things should do, but ystd when my secretary sent out the Msg to all of them, at least they replyed it that can not make it today. Let me know earlier except last mins.. God knows me ... i leave my lab earlier just becoz the meeting..as my classmates all in the lab to practise the lab test of next week... I also dont know how i suppose to do in the next week, becoz next whole week everyday i have lab test...

Suan le ,, all are passing by.. I dont know when can have the debrief as next week i will not at clubhouse everyday. i will rush home to prepare my lab test everyday after school. I dont want to get a bad result of them ... My every lab test contains 25% marks of my practical...wth... so heavy that i really can not carry them properly.GOd, Pls bless me ! !

Today i also have the happy thing to share..=)
I received the letter from SPSEEE Director.
I earned a place in the DIRECTOR'S HONOURS LIST FOR ACADEMIN YEAR 07/08.
Wahaha...........=DD.....
So proud of myself...haha....Becoz my hardworking of last year didnt go to waste.
i dont know how many of the students received it , but at least i'm in the TOP 10% student list of My Course.Whaha...Wanna sing loudly now~~~ *^-^*

Ok le ..Oops...now so late le ..should go to bed...
tmr should wake up earlier to study ...
haha . i'm a good student!!
Sleep early and Wake up early...
Bed sweet Bed~~..

---Said by Fish.Lan
23/05/08

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dont know whether i am the right person in your heart or not .
I just want to become the first person who you wanna talk about yourself.

...past.now.future

2007-11-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

sorry for that...i have been a long time not blogging le....
As they said , i'm a lazy girl..lol... lazy to blog and lazy to think..

PAST:

2 months have already gone... there were so many experience that i didnt have before..
they almost came from my CCA..my lovely CCA->SPCMCC<.lol

Sep 15th
:Dinner & Dance which is my CCA event.. i took part in this activity.. i became a helper and the party's host..it is wonderful experience..

Oct 17th:
SEEE star search..my school singing competition. Although i didn't get the top 3, at least, i still won the merit prize,not so bad , right? give me a clap ba =D..

Oct 19th-21th:
It is the day of my CCA Fo camp~~~! I became the camp's threasurer and group leader..
In a word: we did a very very very good job(games,treasure hurt,night walk, disco night)!!!!!!
I love my bear family so much ! and we won the game..we are the BEST !!
MAma bear: me =P
Papa bear: Rico
baby bear: hui yan, clara,teddy,sunyue...
we are the best one,right!?~=DD.. l.o.v.e you all....
The memories are beautiful and they will last forever...

and after that.. I came to my CCA interview.. i will become a really committee soon..
i hope that i can contribute my power and contribution to my lovely club..
it really become a part of my daily life...

Oct 29-Nov3:
this week is my E-learning week...really busy then the last one.. got many things to do..and busy everyday.. PPT,project, lessons....
but fortunately, i overcame it!!~~~=D happy..

FUTURE:

NExt week is my MST week.... frankly speaking, i really dont have confidence to get a good marks.. see how good i can do ba... hope that all the things will turn to good way...

N.C (No change):

I sTilL AlOne.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pisces.Oo<++<<。。或许眼泪不让它流下，就好像不那么悲伤，强迫自己坚强。。。
（Force myself...).working hard to my MST..the full marks is my goal~~

。。

2007-09-09T18:59:00.000+08:00

把回忆重新翻一遍
重温我们的交集点
有点甜也有点远
一切的开始就像昨天
剪不掉好多画面
闭上眼还看得见。。。

好多好多的画面，
熟悉却又那么模糊遥远，
是否知道我对你的想念
在海平线的另一边。。

今天逛了好多朋友的空间，

原来自己错过了很多与他们在一起的时间。。

现在的我，只能靠着那一丁点模糊的回忆与他们串联，

发现自己，少了对从前的依恋。。。

过分！

2007-09-09T18:53:00.000+08:00

很伤心，，，很伤心，，
我又丢失了一件心爱的东西。。
我的手机坠链。。。
被我那个过分的表弟再一次扯断了。。
先是我心爱的鱼鱼项链，再来是我的手机坠链。。
他怎么可以这样对我！！！
过分，十分过分，万分过分！！！。。。。。

那是我在新加坡买的第一份送给自己的生日礼物啊。。
怎么可以随便就弄坏我的东西，而且还是有纪念意义的东西。
刚刚忍住不掉眼泪。可是一想起我的鱼鱼项链，还有手机坠链的残骸。。
靠。。绝对不会那么轻易原谅他的。。。
过分过分过分过分！！！！！！！

不能说的秘密。。？

2007-09-06T22:12:00.001+08:00

他喜欢像小雨一样精灵般的女孩，
有气质，有可爱，更有才华。
他喜欢像小雨一样谜一般的女孩，
有神秘，有秘密，更有魅力。。。

我不是小雨
没有那本神奇的secret
可以回到过去
找到你。。
我不是小雨
但是我却有那个不能说的秘密
那就是。。

--〉我爱你。。。。

只要坚强....

2007-09-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

-〉只要坚强〈-
“我是一个坚强的人”
每天的每天
我都在镜子面前
不断的告诉自己
只要我坚强，什么事都可以成功
只要我坚强，什么事都可以overcome
我的坚强成为别人的依靠
我的坚强成为别人的防火墙
我不断的告诉自己
“我要坚强”
即使再怎么伤心
也要笑着
不让眼泪丢失了样。。。

part time job.

2007-09-02T00:43:00.000+08:00

i have been not blogging one week..

coz monday(27 Aug) i began my holiday part time job, and the duration of one day work is 8hrs,from 8:30am to 5:30pm,and after work i always went to clubhouse to practise piano,so actually i reached home at about 8pm++. I felt tired when i reached home..and also didnt have feeling to blog...lazy and tired...=P..so sorry for that..

let me make a summary of this week ba..

+MOnday 27th Aug+

i reached sch BizIT library at about 9:20am,coz first day no need too early.

i met my friends at Dover Mrt..and they brought me to BizIt library.

actually i haven't went to BizIt lib before, this is the first time i went to there.

i thought that it would be bigger then Main lib.but i'm wrong..it's smaller and mini..

=) but i like it more then Main lib.. i prefer to study in a small space .that can make me calm and help me pay more attention to my study..

but the unlucky thing is , it's very far far far away from my sch..aiyou..and ater all it's from business and Mit sch, i feel shy to come there bcoz i'm a eee student..

Any way.. when we reached lib, we saw our "boss" which is lib's manager--AiLing.

(that name let me think of Zhang ai ling.hehe..)

she gave us a contract and we signed it. it means we are becoming a full staff.^^

ok. say something about my job ba...

see ,so many books in the bookshelives,the total number of book is 20,000++..wa..so many..

and the(1.)

first step is

we should move them down and put them to a trolley.

2. the second step is we should use computer to scan the books' code and print them onto stickers.

3. then we begin to tear off the old sticker and stick the new one.

like this,

see the books..the sticker on the book.(white one and red one)
these just a very very very small part of the books in lib.

4.and the last step is arrange the books base on the bookcodes and put them back to the bookshelf..wa..this part is the most complecated part. .. stunned..@@ the bookcodes make me dizzy...

becoz of the first day.. our speed very slow..( remove the sticker and stick the new one )

my finger also very painful..but where got solf job ne? should be unremitting.!! jiayou jiayou..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+From Tue to Friday+

ok...the following days likes Monday .. did the same thing.

but i'm so unlucky...coz the book haven't been clean for a long time,My nose was sensitive
to the dust and kept sneezing and i also caught a cold..very uncomfortable.

i took a lot of medicine but useless..

so look at me. i wear a gauze mask...like a nurse ba? lol. that's my friend... so cute ,right,,?=)

btw. when i working.i found out that book..the cover is FISH!!

so cute so cute so cute..i like FISH!!0~<++<<....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+Friday 31th Aug+

part.1..

after D&D meeting. we celebrated Dacai & Yeeting's birthday..

they are born in the same day.( Set 2)

so coinsident..hoho..

Happy Birthday...!!!haha .. that day we kept bullying them two..

!!~~~~

Part 2~~

artually..today is a memorable day..

last year Aug 31th..

i departed from my hometown and came to SG to begin my new life...

and today ..it's the 365 5th day whitch is ONE YEAR i have been here....

=) wish all the best..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+Sta Aug 1+

nothing to do, stayed at home and did house cleaning...

so tired today..now i wanna slp le..

-.-zZzZz.

bye..

wish all of ppl have steew dream....^^

memories..

2007-08-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

hehe....paisei....

i have one week didnt blog liao....

sorry for that....

finally.. my exam ended at last friday...

wa..i can slack now ....=D...

chrees.....
now i will blog sth about past days...

friday..( 24th Aug)

first part

The day was my last exam day..

morning 9am exam..

i waked up at about 7am..so early ba.

coz i waked up to remember some formulars of maths.

i'm very worried about that they wont give the formular book.

although,i waked up so early ,i still late to sch.

reached sch at 8:50..and just after 10mins the exam would begin..

i got off mrt and rushed to t1A...wa...used the speed liked taking part in the POLy50.

luckly..i reached exam room on time...

and 11:10 exam end liao.....

but, went out the exam room ,i couldnt feel happy..coz i knew that i couldnt get a good mark

of math...T.T i realized i got so many mistakes while i checking the ans with my friends..

haiz...then i decided to go to Mc .coz eating food can reduce my sadness..

i ordered Mcwings and ice lemon tea...MCwings is one of the food of my favourite in Mcdonale's.

then i meeted Shulan didi (rico) at fc2.

we sitted together with my friends Tianchao and Ying2.

after lunch, me and shulan didi decided to go to clubhouse coz afternoon have meeting.

we went to clubhouse and meeted yeeting in clubhouse. at that time, she will go to watch with her bf..wa so sweet...

and me and shulan didi found the scores of and try it on the piano..

wa.so difficult...@@... it's very complicated.

see the scores...

I stunned liao.@-@..

I and shulan didi practiced during the afternoon..it means that I sited in front of piano from 1pm to 5pm(shulan didi left at about 3:30pm)

and now i still just can play a little bit of that song..

wa..JAy really so talented and skillful....

i very admire him.....

ok.

friday second part...

actually,in friday ,we celebrated darren and yongshen's birthday at meeting room after meeting..

Happy Birthday!!!

see..two "shouxinggong"s distributing the cake ..

and after that.. my friends went to watch movie and planed to overnight.

i couldnt go with them coz next day i had to work...

what a pity......

the day end........

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday. Aug 25

nothing happen...

I stayed at home and finished one lengthy novel..

the book title is 《诅咒》(curse). it is not a book of ghost but got something terror, like a detective story...

and the day time fly.....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday..26th Aug

today morning.i waked up at 9:30am..

and began today...

I helped my auntie to do some housework..

cleansed the room and cleansed the windows..

wa..so tired today..

but afternoon went to Sengkang compass point to have dinner..

=D my auntie treated me Sakae sushi..

wa wa ..so nice the food..now i still feel full ..haha

coz i ate so much...

haiz..but still got one unlucky thing..

my fish.....!!

my favourite fish.....

T.T

borken...

T-T...Y_Y...

it's becouse of my naughty cousin..

he wrenched the fish tail..

cry.sad..

my fish.......

borken...

and my heart.

also

borken....

.stand in silent tribute 1 mins..

profound condolence

-----------------------------------------------------------

tmr i will go to sch BisIT library to work...

haha..it's the first day of my part time job in library...

i'm so excited now...wish i could do all the things best..

(actually is today,coz now is 12:54 already..lol.)

today...end.....

FIGHTING!

2007-08-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

NOW12:09....
today, jurong east had a heavy rain in the morning...
last night i decided to come to sch early this morning,but morning had a heavy rain.
i'm lazy to wake up and slped until 10am++....
haiz...yestd i took the midicine and went to bed so earlyer..about 10:30..
so early and i never studyed anything .....
i felt guilty about that....coz i still got two exams in next week..
but i still feel dizzy now...OMG.....i have been dizzy 3 days++ le...
i wanna kill myseflt a.....become MAD liao......@-@...
Oh...no no no ...i should wake up now.....

Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
Fighting !!!!!
)*-*

alone..

2007-08-16T10:24:00.000+08:00

haiz.....
now i'm studying at T15 alone....
yestd i finished the DE test...i felt so good for it...=D
may be can get full marks ba..i'm not very sure la..however,i think i can get 90++ ba..
but the bad thing is i spent more time on DE not PEEE..
T-T i think this time i cannt retain the PEEE highest recond in class le...
coz ... for PEEE , although i can understand the knowledge in book , i didnt do all the tutorials
be4 ,and MCQ is the part that i cannot make sure whether i can get full marks..
T.T i think i should work harder and harder then be4 le..may be should overnight these days le..

but ...now i begin to fell dizzy..@.@.. and slpy...
OMG..it's the side effects of the medicine..
i took the medicine 3 days liao...today i drunk the coffee be4 i went to sch, but is uesless.
i still feeling slpy now....
how can i do?? haiz.... i think today i should drink as much as coffee i can le...and the coffee should without milk,sugger and cream..
ok ba.. i should study now ...
but i'm alone at T15 basement ,sian de...

later to be continue.....

God bless......

----------------------------------------------------------------------
now i'm in my cmcc clubhouse....
so sian....
just now i went to fc3 to have my lunch..actually i didnt feel hungry but still should eat something.coz i should have some medicine and after that i came to my clubhouse to have a nap...
i still feel dizzy now.....dizzy.dizzy.dizzy....like i drunk..@@@@@@@
hi...
fortunately my second exam is at next monday... i still have time to relax and revise..
haiz.......
lousy body..lousy me.....
-.-ZzZzZzz

-.-/..

2007-08-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

OMG>...
how come i feel so slpy....-.-ZzZzZz..

now, i'm in T15 basement(sch building) revising my DE...super sian de...
tmr is my first exam..
DE.(digital electronics). time:6pm-7:40..
-.-?? why the time so late de?..
haiz...i think 6-7pm is time for dinner lor.
now i should make a dicision:
should i eat dinner first or after exam ley?.?
coz when i finish dinner first, i'll suffer from slpy la..
but if i go for exam with empty stomach,i'll have less energy....
dont know la..... 船到桥头自然直拉。。。

later to be continue...=]

--------------------------------------------------------------
haiz..T-T...shit la wo....

just now i realized i'm sick liao...
9pm reached home and ate my dinner..
after dinner i took some medicine...er...the medicine is too bitter... Y.Y
oh,my dear God..how come u treat me like that??
tmr i have exam ya.......i dont want to take the bad health to do the exam paper..
dont know how to do le......
now the only thing that i can do is praying to Gog for a good health..
haiz...
afternoon ,
at first ,i wanted to go to clubhouse to take a nap..coz afternoon i already felt unwell.
but , clubhouse had so many ppls, and coz the piano attracted me la..=P..
so i played it for a long time..and finally ,,me and yongshen leart the songs in Jay's movie and played it together.hah...
wa..the songs were played on piano..so nice...so i couldnt control myself and played it for a long time...=D..everyone in clubhouse said me and yongshen went to crazy..lol..
i'm not crazy..i'm a emo girl..playing piano is my favourite and
i'm quite willing for spending much time on it..=)..
so dont say me crazy la...haha...

OMG...now i feel dizzy... i think i should go to bed liao...
but now is so early ,just 10:36..
and tmr i have exam ya...
who can tell me how can i do??....

@-@ dizzy//..dizzy.///

.....

2007-08-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

now i remove some of my diary that i wrote in my MSN space be4..
7/19/2007
sad.
i realized that a long time i didnt update my blog liao... =X
so buzy and tired from last week to this week,and will be continue in the consecutive weeks.. after 3 weeks ,i will get the semester 1 final exam le.. so tired,so busy, so nervous and so stress.... i 'm afraid that i cant get a good marks. haiz...GPA should be 4++..i tell mysefl....and should try my best to achieve it....

who said poly is fun and soft...? cheat......got so many projects,and so many presentations......bcoz of my lousy english , all the modules and presentations for me are looking like the book from heaven---the most difficulty!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh , my god. pls tell how can i do that can solve it...?!?
i am ashamed of my lousy english.....

haiz....sian de....now i reviewing my lessons of structure programming, coz tmr have a lab test..which is 10% weight of my total marks...
today i am so sad de...my project 1 lab test may faild liao....T_T
.coz yesterday didnt practise it and still went to moberly to sing, i feel so guilty to myself, and feel very sorry to my parents.. i want to try my best to do all the things perfect , but now, i got one lab test faild , one spot can not be cleaned, 555~~i know that is god punished me...
sorry for that. sorry for myself. sorry for mun and dad. sorry for everyone,
tmr i will get full marks of struc progm de..trust me..and support me ba..
i will never let u all dnow de.... =\
ok la..continue my reviewing le....

good luck.....

aiya....forget to say liao...tmr i also get a presentation of EP...
but now i still dont write any of preparation....
sian le..should overnight today le....
tmr 8am de lesson, haiz....i dont know weather i will be late...
should spend one hr to reach sch...haiz.that is means i should wake up at 6 am and go out at 6:45 am...(15 mins to take lrt. 45++mis to take mrt..)
god press.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7/20/2007
....lousy..
oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how come i look like a clown standing in the front to make a funy thing.!!!!!!

my presentation.....................

haiz.....

become a funy show........

Y-Y

lousy..lousy....lousy..english....!!..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8/4/2007
stress..
T.T....

why i got so many tests de>?????.
actually next week is study week..but i still have 3 tests..
structure programming lab test, DE lab test,english test.....
OMG~~~~~~!!
haiz....Y-Y.....sad......

i'm afraid of my StP lab test will not get a good marks.coz last Tusd i pon liao StP's lesson
and went to JAY's tea party...( my friends had been queuing 3hrs++ but JAY just on the stage
about half an hour...sad...)

haiz....
15th Aug is my first day of M-semestral exam..
and the first module exam is DE..
why not put the first one is math? i have the more confidence in Math then in DE..
i should have more time to review DE..there are so many things in my head but confused and complicated..
And the second exam is PEEE...
walao...why put Math in the last one!!
OH,.my dear God!! can u help me to change it?..!
my exam time is from Aug 13-Aug 24,during two weeks.
i just have three module exams in three days but i should "standby" two weeks..
coz my first exam is in 15Aug and second is in 20Aug, the last one is in 24Aug..
kao....what is this and that...?

.........kisiao la wa.........
stress...

P.s
i'm very sorry for my friends..(yannan,yashan,yabin,guoliang,yiqi..)
coz i haven replyed their emails...haiz...i have no time to write the emails and have no the feelings..
may be after my mst ,i will write more about sth to u all de..very sorry and feel guilty about it.
Pls forgive me......ok.....i love u all de...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
8/6/2007
6 Aug..
now i'm reviewing my structure programming lab test sample...
but i really have no feelings to do it,so i come to my blog to write the diary..
i feel so slpy and so tired now...
although today i just got two lessons (Maths), i still feel tired.
.coz after sch my friend asked me to be his tutor and i also did my PEEE reviews.
until 4pm.i told to my friend that i wanna go to my clubhouse becoz i promised chenzhi to help her in charge the vocal activity be4....but when i arrived clubhouse,someone told to me today de vocal activity have been canceled liao,haiz..i dont know it then i still asked my friend to back home first.haiz..i'm very sorry for my friend coz i also promised him to help him be4.guilty...

tmr i still got 2 tests. which are structure programming lab test and english reading and writing tests.i feel stress..how come i have more tests then my friends..?
haiz....Y-Y
i wanna cry.but can not...i have forgotten the feeling about crying for a long time...
i can not be beaten and should become the winner until final victory!!!!
thanks of my friends always encourage me and support me.
i will try my best de!!!!!!!!!!^^

today i leart the song playing in piano by peiling...she is very talented and good at piano.haiz..when i was a child, my parents didnt have enough money to buy the piano for me and so i didnt have the chance to learn piano be4..
God knows how i wish i could learn it and play it very well..
but now i have the chance la..lol.i always come to my clubhouse,coz there is an electric piano free for me to play..and there are so many of my friends good at playing piano de.
^^ i can learn from them,,so good. rite..?
so when u want to find me, just come to my clubhouse that can see me playing piano
in there.
hehe....CMCC -crazy music club...actually is chinese music and cultural club.that is my favourite cca club.lol... it's my third family in SG..

good luck to all of my friends..

i should go to do my review now.....
and also good luck to me about tmr's tests....
^^..

that's a secret cannot be said..

2007-08-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i went to a film with my cmcc friends..
the movie is JAY's> secret<. OMG...how come the movie can move me to tears.. i was really deeply touched by the movie and the love of yexianglun and xiaoyu. although they are at a distance of 20years. they still fall in love with each others after 20years. the movie not only got romance but also touch my heart deeply.. it's worth to watch it twice .. so ..=] i will go to watch it again de.. hope u all like it....

雨：这是不能说的秘密。。

thanks very much...

2007-08-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

Actually i'm a fresher about using the blog...
wa..all of the introduction are English and
is very difficult to read it and understand it...
oh..shit..my lousy English..=X...

but .but.but...
haha..there is a kind-hearted guy helping me so much..
he helped me changing the blog template and taught me how to run the blog
and so on..

yaya...thanks,thanks very much~~~~~!!~~~!!~~!!~
xD.....
i'll rmb ur helps de...haha...
so next time let me treat u ba...don't refuse it again la..ok..=P

>secret<.

2007-08-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

>that is a secret cannot be said...<

雨：你好象很喜欢用一只手弹琴哦？
伦：这样另一只手才可以牵你啊。

伦：为什么你那么神秘呢？
雨：这是个秘密~~~

雨：我是小雨。。。
伦：你在哪里。？
雨：我爱你
你爱我吗？
伦：

happy birthday~~

2007-08-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

09 August 2007

today...thusday,9 Aug.1:37am..is my blog's "born day".=Deverybody chrees..and say wishes to “her"ba...Actually,i have blog be4 which is MSN space,but i found it was very inconvenient,coz if someone want to add comments to me ,they should sign in their MSN or hotmail account.That's my reason to set up this blog....haha....everybody~~say "hi" to "her" ba..

2007-08-10T15:37:00.001+08:00